Step 7 - Martin Seligman’s Salary Slave and Learned Helplessness
This Lesson is about what James Altucher already in his book "Chose Yourself" described. We got to understand, that the System is the cage, and that we will not be happy in it, like the monkeys who are not happy in their safe cage either. We have to step out of the cage and walk into the jungle. This walking into the jungle might be the biggest obstacle that a man fears.
But the jungle of the modern world is amazing, and it would be a big mistake to be in the cage at present times. The gates are solely in our mind and we are locked by our fantasy. All we need is to understand, that we have a choice to step out and walk into the jungle.
The jungle might be more risky, than the safe cage, where everything we need gets delivered to us, but you will never get the good life, without taking risks.
The jungle represents risk. And with risk, if you do it right, comes reward. And the reward is the good life.
If we stay with what is safe, it won't help us either, because it is a false economy, it's penny wise and dollar foolish for most of us. And the times where the man worked for someone else to get feed were only for a short period of time in human history and secondly they are over.
On the other hand the risk is minimal today, because in business we have countless opportunities to get funded, to take loans, to network to connect and in the worst case receive state support or file bankruptcy. Socially we probably are never going to see each other on the street again, and have ways to find partners online.
To get the good life, you can't be the monkey in the cage and take each paycheck like you take your bananas.
Helplessness is like waiting for the next book to help us... and we keep waiting. We keep waiting for the teacher to hand us the chapter. For society to pick us. For a girl to chose us. For destiny to bring us our well deserved million. That's not how it works.
The most unhappy people, are the ones that feel their life is out of their control. But everything is within our control, we just have to get out of the cage and grab what we need. How? By innovating! By being creative, persistent and by repetition and practice.
Innovate your way out of any helplessness you think you have.
Only Sloth and Unreliability will ruin your life.
Train your brain to do the things you say and then do them.
Questions
- What is one specific instance you were helpless and in hindsight what would you have done differently?
When I was young I married early, because I wanted to help a girl I loved, which didn't speak the language, to stay in the country.
Afterwards she became socially, financially and linguistically fully dependent. And her "temperament" didn't support a healthy relationship either.
Here I felt helpless, because I though that I couldn't break up with her, without making irreparable damage to her life and career, due to the fact, that she would have to discontinue her studies and leave the country, thus I felt responsible for her future.
I sat back and hoped that everything is going to turn out for the better. I endured and waited. It didn't.
In hindsight, I should have been much more self-centered, egoistic and harsh. But this is not who I am as a character. Therefore I believe the way to innovate myself out of this situation, must have been the known synthesis.
Though I had a complete lack of awareness due to my inexperience with women, in hindsight, knowing then what I know now, I should have worked proactively in finding her a job, making her independent and breaking up.
Leaving a person you love, because you know he isn't a good fit for you, is still a harsh move. All the more when you know, she isn't capable of taking care of herself, in a foreign country she doesn't speak the language and being forced to work at minimum wage to pay for her desired lifestyle.
But we make choices for ourselves. And first we have to take care for ourselves and then we can help others. Furthermore, we need to be proactive and seek the solutions, instead of waiting for them to come to us.
I've never felt helpless in any other way, because there are solutions to every problem anywhere.
I know this is kind of personal and personal information shouldn't surface into public, but I believe that we are all here to be open about ourselves and to learn from each other.